Shaking Shame – Part 1: Authenticity

The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.

~ Carl Jung

I’ve found myself using this term “shaking” more frequently in sessions and it seems to resonate with my clients around shame.  According to Merriam-Webster, a few definitions of shake (v) are – to free oneself from, to get away from/ rid of and to brandish wave or flourish often in a threatening manner. 

Shame is a universal emotion but one of the most primitive human emotions we can experience.  This means that shame requires a strong, brave, “shaking”  defense. 

Practicing authenticity is a first line of defense in “shaking” shame.

Shame is a very painful emotion causing one to believe they are unworthy or are unloveable.  This ultimately leads to disconnection of others, our worst fear.  Many people find unhealthy solutions to stay connected to others.  These unhealthy responses to shame and fear leads to hiding who you are, which further your feelings of unworthiness and disconnection. 

Shaking shame by practicing authenticity is critical.  Brené Brown, author of The Gifts of Imperfection, talks about authenticity as a collection of choices we make each day to show up in real, honest ways. The ultimate choice of showing up as our true selves is practicing authenticity as part of becoming shame resilient.

Choosing authenticity means:

• Cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and allow ourselves to be vulnerable
• Exercising the compassion that comes from knowing we are all made of strength and struggle
• Nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough

Finding a therapist to help you make these daily choices can be an essential part of your process.

Written by: Porsha Jones

Originally posted on Grow Counseling